The Point of a Blog

So, lately I've been wondering why I still have this blog.  I don't use it very often, and when I do, I hardly ever talk about anything meaningful.  If I was just some random person who happened to stumble across this blog, I'd probably read a sentence or two, give up, and never come back.

The reason for this post, then, is to ask my readers (if I have any), what direction I should go with this blog.  I don't even know at this point if I should keep it, but some part of me won't let me shut it down just yet.  I'm not going to renew my website this year, so that won't be around much longer, but Blogger is free, so I don't have a reason not to hold on to this for a little while longer.

Any ideas would be wonderfully helpful.  Otherwise I'll just go on giving boring, overly wordy break-downs of  my non-exciting day-to-day life.

Speaking of which, not a whole lot has really happened in the past month and a half.  It's funny how quickly you can fall into a new routine.  I've gotten so used to working at ServiceLink and living in my new apartment that I have difficulties distinguishing the days and I automatically drive to one or the other if I don't pay attention to where I'm supposed to be heading.

Christmas is coming up.  I don't know if I'm excited or dreading it.  I need to learn how to budget, after Christmas is over and I've shopped for all of the people that I want to buy gifts for.

As far as the rest of my life goes, at this point I'm just taking things a day at a time.  I don't know what I'm doing after the holidays.  I don't think I'll be going back to school in the fall.  I don't know where else to look for a better job.  I don't want to move away any time soon but think I might have to start looking for work in another state.  I don't know what kind of work I'd look for, though.  I need some guidance or something; I'm pretty lost right now.

Well, that's all I've got for you tonight.  I was a little less verbose than usual, but only because I don't want to ramble on about nothing at all.

Later,

Joshua

Changing

They say life is full of changes.

Well, lately that seems to be the case for me.  I have recently (two days ago) stopped working for Walmart, and tomorrow (or today if I don't finish this post soon) I start a new job at a company called ServiceLink.  I will no longer be working in retail.  No longer will I have to deal with customers.  Now I will be working with a computer, at a desk.  My job title is Searcher, though I'm not sure as yet what all it entails.  I will learn; I'm quite good at learning.


I have also recently (yesterday I think?) signed a lease for a new apartment.  I will be living with my father again for the next year, but this time he will be my roommate.  In a strange turn of events, we both needed a new place at about the same time.


Oh, I guess that requires an explanation.  After trying as hard as I could to keep my relationship with Megan working this summer, her and I have broken up.  The fact was neither of us was happy with the other person, nor had we been for some time.  Things were not getting better between us...and so I'm single again.


I really don't know what to say about that.  Embarrassingly enough, what I miss most right now is my dog.  I've been staying with my mother, and Ollie, who I purchased and whose training I began three years ago before I left for school, is no longer my dog.  I have come to realize this over the years when I am home from school, but never as much as these past few days (weeks? I can't remember how long I've been here now...maybe a week...).  But anyhow, Ollie is now definitely Jeff's dog.  I have no doubt that Ollie still loves me, and he does still listen to me, but he is a different dog than when I first met him.  He doesn't act as he once did because of all the time he has spent here.


I know that sounds ridiculous, but at this point I wouldn't want to take Ollie with me even if I could.  I miss Viggo.  He was my dog.  He acts the way he does because of the time he has spent with me and the efforts I have put into training him.  He still has some trouble (the worst of which is his separation anxiety), but I love him to death and he is too cute for me to stay mad at for long.  The worst part about moving out of Megan's apartment has so far been that I don't get to see Viggo.  It's not that I'm not allowed; in fact, Megan has already asked me multiple times to go over and take him for walks and spend time with him.  No.  The problem is that I don't feel comfortable in that apartment anymore.  I am an intruder and it upsets me just to be there.


Yesterday, though, things started to sink in.  I have a new job and a new apartment, and yet I don't feel very happy about either.  The new job is nice, but I have no one to celebrate with.  The new apartment is nice, too, but I'm not moving with her.


She was my life.  Every life decision for the past three years have involved my future with her.  Now I don't know what to do.  What future is left?  She was supposed to be  there.  She was supposed to be forever.


Starting over...I never realized how painful it would be.


And I don't know how to move on.


And I still miss my dog.  I sound like a bad song.

Preapproved

Well, I have been living with Megan this summer in the apartment she moved into last year, and to be honest, I'm quite ready to get out of the place.  Everything seems to be coming down around us:  there are a lot more problems that need to be fixed than I can possibly handle.  On top of that, our neighbors are not always the nicest people and are rarely easy to deal with.  The dog is also making things complicated because the lack of a yard and the amount of time we spend out of the house leaves him hyper all the time.  Between that and his separation anxiety, he spends most of the day barking, which only upsets my neighbors more.

Thus, instead of looking for another apartment, I thought that Megan and I might be better suited to look for a house of our own.

We went to our credit union and started a mortgage pre-approval application about a month ago, and we've kind of been looking at what places we might be interested in noncommittally while we waited to here if we were approved or not.

Well, on Tuesday we were approved for a mortgage.  We didn't ask for much, but we were approved for what we asked for.  Now all we need to do is pull a bit more money together and find a place that we both like and that we can afford.

The problem lies in the fact that I don't know if it's a good idea right now.  When we just started the application process, Megan's parents had just started their divorce proceedings.  Between the divorce of her parents and the stress of applying for a mortgage, Megan got a little scared and we nearly broke up.  The agreement we came to was that we would stay together but not be engaged right now because of all of the trouble we have been having.  After dealing with a long distance relationship for three years, living together is difficult.

So we're approved for a mortgage, but I don't know if I should even bother looking for a house...

Thanks for listening.  I've been a little whiny today.

D.C. and Sick Days

Well, I am sick. I spent the last week suffering with what has been identified as the flu, as well as possibly a sinus infection and possibly strep throat. I must be doing some serious damage to my immune system because I rarely get sick and this was just awful. I finally could not take it any longer on Friday when I woke up with trouble breathing. I walked to the clinic on campus and met the new Nurse Practitioner, Lori. She was a very nice woman, and she told me I had to take Friday off so that I can sleep, and then gave me some medication to take to fight the flu and the infections. Now I'm on an antibiotic for ten days and Robitussin DM and Pseudoephed until they run out.

After sleeping most of the day yesterday, and of course with the help of the medication, I feel a lot better already. I know I'm not fully recovered, but I felt well enough this morning to go in to work today, and as the day progressed I felt better and better. I think tomorrow I'm going to try drinking coffee again, but I didn't want to chance it yesterday or today considering how much my throat was bothering me. I do know that I'm going through a bit of caffeine withdrawal, though.

Besides the illness, though, I've been doing fairly well since last we spoke. I spent a week at home for spring break, and the weather was very nice for most of that week. Actually, I think I need to spend some time on that week...

I left school on March 4, but I didn't go straight home. I stopped in Meadville to visit Trae, who I haven't seen in ages. It was nice to spend some time with him. I arrived in time for dinner on Friday night and spent the entire day getting a tour of Allegheny College and Meadville on Saturday. Trae is doing well; in fact, he is just finishing his spring break this weekend. I had a good time, and I was very happy to see Trae again after such a long time. I'm hoping that we'll be able to spend some time together this summer so that it won't be another year before we see each other.

So, late that Saturday I arrived home, and I spent most of the week relaxing and trying to train Megan's new puppy. He's a horrible menace and won't listen at all; I even tried using a shock collar on him, but he just takes the shock and keeps going. I need to get a book to learn how to keep him from jumping on people, trying to run out the door, and most importantly, to get him to stop chewing on remotes and other valuables. The good news is that we finally found something that works for walking. We were thinking of buying a bite collar at Petsmart, but we decided to try it out before purchasing. I'm happy we did because just like the regular collar, Viggo just pulled and pulled. I was afraid that the spikes would really hurt him if he kept pulling like that, so we went with something else called a gentle leader. The leader straps around his nose without holding his mouth shut, and if he pulls it pulls his head down. I didn't expect it to work as well as it did. The first time I walked him with the leader on, he walked right by my side without pulling a bit. In fact, the biggest issue I had was that he didn't like the leader strapped around his nose and he spent a lot of time trying to take it off, which usually ended up wrapping his legs up in the leash. I think after a while he'll get used to it, and I'm just happy that he's not pulling so much now.

The most important thing that happened over break, though, was the birth of my niece, Teagan Bailey. Beth went into labor on Thursday night, and we received the call around 12:30AM. We did all that we could to rush out to Steubenville, but that was the one day when the weather was not nice. In fact, it had started snowing when the sun set and by the time we got the call the roads were covered and it was still coming down. It took us a while just to get out of Beaver Falls, and we didn't make it to the hospital until after 3. The problem was, we had been up all day Thursday, and sleeping in the car was impossible, so we were all exhausted. The "waiting room" was more like a hallway with some chairs on one wall and a coke machine on the other, so sleeping there was fairly difficult as well. We waited for twelve hours after our arrival for Teagan to be born at 3:10PM on March 11. She was born 4 pounds, 13 ounces and 19 inches long. She's adorable, and I was so upset that I had to leave so soon after her birth.

I came back to Mansfield that Sunday and spent a week with little to show for it. This past weekend, though, I took a field trip to Washington D.C. with my Sociology class. I enjoyed visiting the Holocaust Museum, and I also was able to visit a homeless shelter, though I didn't enjoy that as much. Most of the time, though, I spent meandering around D.C. taking pictures of things that I found interesting. I took a ton of photos. They are all up on facebook and deviantart, as well as a photo gallery on my Web site. Seriously, check them out if you haven't already. I know I might be tooting my own horn, but I think a few of them are really good.

Well, that's about it. I've arrived back to the time when my illness began, and I've already told you about that. I'm hoping that I'll be feeling even better tomorrow; I'd like to head over to the gym if I'm feeling up to it. I haven't been to the gym since I got back from spring break, and though the weather was nice enough for a four mile run last Friday, it's cold again and I need to exercise.

Later,
Joshua

Can You Say Snow?

So, we've had four snow days in the past month. As far as I can tell you, that's a university record. To be honest, today was the only one that I felt was entirely justified, and the only one that I used productively. During the other three snow days, I did a lot of sleeping and sitting in front of my computer playing games, and not a whole lot else. Today I got up early, washed my sheets (more on that later), went to the gym, and went in to work early to make up for all the call-offs. Now I'm finishing up the rest of my laundry and considering going to Wal-Mart (but only if the snow is done because I'm not cleaning off my car just for it to get covered again).

Okay, so I mentioned above there would be more on why I had to wash my sheets. My roommate has been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks now, and last night they went out drinking together (as far as I know, neither is 21 yet). Well, the only reason I know they were drinking is because when I got back to my room after working on my geometry partner project with Lauren she was lying on his bed and he was not letting her go back to her room. That in itself, though, wasn't enough to let me know that she was completely hammered. What tipped me off, though, was the vomit. I had just curled up in bed when I heard her vomit, and felt some hit my leg. On a side note, I'm already mad about the bed situation because my roommate brought his drum set this semester and now his bed is up against the back wall, with the head of his bed right next to the foot of mine. So when she threw up, she had no where to spew but right over the side of his bed, and right onto mine. Wonderful. I was disgusted, afraid I was going to join her in throwing up, and downright pissed off. I jumped out of bed and left the room for a walk around the building so that I didn't start yelling. I came back to the room long enough to strip my sheets from my bed and grab my shower stuff. When I returned after my shower, she was crying, presumably because I embarrassed her, and the room smelled terrible. Without sheets to sleep on my bed, and not wanting to live with the smell all night, I left to sleep on the sofa in the lounge. Let me be honest, that was the worst night's sleep I've had in a very long time, and that's saying something. So this morning when I got up, the first thing I did was wash my sheets.

Otherwise, my semester has been fairly uneventful. I've been trudging through my classes, and doing well enough. Someone stole one of my text books last week, and now I have no book to read to prepare me for the midterm I have coming up on Wednesday...At least my friend Nichole has a book that I can borrow this weekend to catch up on the three chapters that I was trying to read when the book was stolen. Oh, I suppose the story is kind of important. I took the book to work with me on Saturday, since Saturdays are very slow at Manser and my supervisor lets me read when no one is in the food court. Well, when we got busy, I set the book in the cubby behind me, and about half an hour later when I went to grab it I noticed it was gone. I've heard nothing from the campus police, leading me to believe that it was stolen and not just accidentally taken. I just can't figure out why someone would steal a family life text book; it's barely worth $50 and probably not even worth that much because there's a data set that came with the book that I still have.

The only class I am happy to be in is regression analysis, though I'm not entirely sure what we are doing. I didn't get the book until the Wednesday before the one just past (2/16) due to a mix up with the postal service, and I really need to sit down and read through chapter 2 (I did get to read chapter 1 this week) so that I can figure out what we're doing in class. The symbol manipulation is really cool, though, and I've had little trouble with that. However, I don't yet know exactly why we've been manipulating the symbols. Oh well. Our first test is on Wednesday and I'm nervous. Dr. Lienhard's tests are difficult.

Well, I think that's about it. I've got five tests next week (maybe, not sure since we've had all these snow days), and then spring break starts on Friday. I'm going to head over to Meadville Friday night to hang out with Trae, then head home sometime Saturday evening and spend a week away from school. I doubt that week is going to make me feel better about finishing this semester. Oh well. I'm almost done and so ready to be.

Later,
Joshua

Long Awaited Update

Well, I'm sure some of you care a bit about how little I've been updating recently. I am sorry for that. As I mentioned on my home page, I have been dealing with a lot lately and updating my blog and site have been the last things on my mind.

Since we last spoke, I finished my last fall semester, somehow with a 4.00. I'm excited that I kept up my grade point average when I thought for sure I had messed it up. I went home for a month, and during that month a lot happened. My Grandma died, and it was a very painful time. I wasn't (and probably still am not) entirely rational for the rest of the time I was home, and decided to do something dumb: I helped Megan get a dog. I knew it was a bad idea, but I couldn't say no, so now she's got a new puppy. I'll have photos of him up on facebook by the end of the night, and they're already up on deviantart. His name is Viggo, and he's a black lab, border collie mix, probably with some shepherd in there as well. We took him home when we were getting Dad's cat, Squeaky Z, updated on his shots. The vet we went to was taking care of him (she named him), and she was looking for a good home for him. It turns out Megan was looking for a good dog, and the rest is history. We're still training him, and Megan's neighbors probably hate us for him, but he's adorable even if he's a big pain.

I've started my final semester at Mansfield. I'm taking a ton of general education classes that I'd rather not be taking, and I dropped Electricity and Magnetism II in favor of another math class, Complex Variables. I also stopped working at Wal-Mart this semester in favor of Manser and tutoring so that I can stop stressing so much. It's been helpful so far, but now I don't have the constant pressure to do my homework, and thus have been procrastinating a lot.

Over the break I put in applications to the University of Pittsburgh and Binghamton University for graduate school. I'm hoping to hear back from them sometime this month. I'm really hoping the I'll get in at Pitt because I want to be closer to home.

I finally updated my site (for the most part). Technolock no longer exists, and I had links to that site on every page, so I had to go through and remove them all. I also added new pictures, so check it out.

I've been pretty bad lately with my extra cash. For Christmas I bought me and Megan a new 42" LED Vizio HDTV, as well as a Vizio Blu-Ray player to go along with it. I have also been buying a lot of books, and so my online bookshelf is not up-to-date. I have to go through and figure out which books aren't on the page yet, and add them all. It might take some time because I'm not sure that I brought all the new books with me. Also, for Christmas I got a gift card to Amazon.com, and instead of using it for books or music, I bought a Zune HD (Microsoft's version of the ipod touch). I am very excited about it because it's much larger than my last mp3 player (16GB compared to 4GB), and it has a few exciting new features. The Zune comes with software, a lot like an ipod, that lets me download new music from Zune's site. The really interesting thing about the Zune (which I don't think the ipod does), is a feature called the Zune Pass. It's a monthly subscription that allows me to download as many songs as I want each month to sample, and I get to keep ten of them every month. It also has a few other features, including channels, which pick new music for me based on what I listen to and add that music to my Zune for the month so I can hear new stuff. The best feature of the Zune Pass has been the "Smart DJ" option. It works on the Zune itself, and even better on the computer. The Smart DJ will take a song or artist and create a playlist of similar music automatically. On the Zune it can only use the music I own, but on the computer it can use all of the music available through the Zune site, which is another way I hear new music constantly. All in all, I'm really excited, and I've been snatching a lot of new music, which is why my music library page on my site is not up-to-date. I'll work on fixing that, too, as soon as I get my actual music library in order.

Well, I've included all I can think of for now. I'll try and update again as soon as something interesting happens (maybe next week?).

Later,
Joshua